I think one of the biggest changes in how I communicate online came after moving to Fedi. For the most part now I am able to have serious conversations with people who share my values, without being constantly pulled into squabbles with assholes who are wasting my time.
Spencer likes this.
Artemis
in reply to Artemis • • •I'm happy to have some back & forth, receive new information from people, get called out if I'm fucking up, etc.
But I do not fucking need jerks who just want to cause problems wasting the energy which I could spend on good, important conversations.
Artemis
in reply to Artemis • • •Cassandrich
in reply to Artemis • • •Artemis
in reply to Cassandrich • • •Yeah, the moderation experience on a good Fedi instance is wildly different from being on major social media.
Artemis
in reply to Artemis • • •We should never stop trying to make Fedi better & safer. It's not perfect. As usual, marginalized people have the worst experience.
So this is not to say "yay! We did it! It's perfect & never needs to change."
But the spaces that we build for ourselves can be so much better than what private enterprise has to offer. We can have fucking *conversations* here.
Artemis
in reply to Artemis • • •And frankly, it's been slow, but I have seen a lot of people—including instance admins—responding to the suggestions & critiques of marginalized people.
It's not everyone & it's not enough, but it does fucking happen here. The hard conversations happen & at least *some* people try to make this better.
One thing I love about Fedi is that it *can become better.*
Artemis
in reply to Artemis • • •Also, if you are having a lot of interactions with people acting in bad faith or harassing you, it is worth considering moving to an instance with stricter moderation or that blocks or restricts more problem instances.
Dicecamp has been great for me, but there are plenty of great ones out there.
Artemis
in reply to Artemis • • •I especially recommend this if you're on mastodon social. I'm really glad you signed up & joined Fedi, but you may be able to find an even better corner to call your own (but do what you want—the point is it's your choice).
"Just move instances" is not a solution to systemic problems, but if you think you could personally have a better experience, it's a thing you can try.
kali
in reply to Artemis • • •DThoris
in reply to Artemis • • •Jules she/her
in reply to Artemis • • •Artemis reshared this.
Artemis
in reply to Jules she/her • • •@afewbugs
Exactly. And the thing is, when you see other people responding in that way—asking for clarification instead of assuming the worst & apologizing when called out—it feels safer to do that yourself. I've become a lot better at just not responding with the first emotional thing that pops into my head & actually thinking "what would it look like to just talk to this person in a mutually respectful way?"
Oblomov
in reply to Artemis • • •0xC0DEC0DE07EA
in reply to Jules she/her • • •Artemis
in reply to 0xC0DEC0DE07EA • • •I've noticed that it's "popular" on here when people figure out their misunderstanding & apologize. Posts like that usually get a few faves. So yeah, I guess that's a small cultural thing that helps encourage that attitude.
Bytebro 🇬🇧 🇺🇦 🇬🇱
in reply to Artemis • • •Doug Wade
in reply to Artemis • • •Sin Vega
in reply to Artemis • • •it was striking to gradually move away from there, and then leave completely... and then interact over the next few years with people still there (or on the blue reskin, whatever).
Even in non-public spaces, the way they'd immediately leap on during a friendly conversation to try to be more righteous or have a better Take or pick some pedantic fuckin nano-hole in *conversation with their own people*
Spencer likes this.
Artemis
in reply to Sin Vega • • •Yeah, I think people develop a fighting mentality & eventually make very little distinction between friend & foe. Everything feels like it could be an attack.
Sin Vega
in reply to Artemis • • •regular violet
in reply to Artemis • • •Artemis
in reply to regular violet • • •Exactly. Even if you really want to have productive conversations & aren't looking for debate, it's an environment that ends up feeling so hostile, so it becomes hard to approach people in good faith.
Joshua
in reply to Artemis • • •large mozz
in reply to Artemis • • •Spencer
in reply to Artemis • •Spencer
in reply to Spencer • •Spencer
in reply to Spencer • •